Radio Gaga

 

“We welcome you back to 99.9 – The official radio station of summer!” exclaimed the dj with forced enthusiasm on the pre-recorded playback. Just then the phone rang.

“Hi! 99.9 you’re on the air!”

“What makes you the radio station of summer? Is there an official selection process? Do you have a certificate?” the caller said with all seriousness.

The DJ blinked. Thankfully it was radio. “It’s just a thing we say man, chill.” he laughed and hung up.

The phone rang again. “Hi! 99.9 you’re on the air!”

“You hung up on me. We weren’t finished yet.”

“Oh. Sorry man.”

<Click>

Another laugh. The switchboard lit up. The DJ was a bit surprised. He picked a line at random.

“Hi! 99.9 you’re on the air!” he intoned.

“I think the previous caller had a point.”

“Oh really? Well sorry, that’s just what marketing says to say from May to August.”

<click>

 

He tried another line. “Hi! 99.9 you’re on the air!”

“This is a serious topic..” started the caller.

“No, it really isn’t.”

<click>

And so it went for the rest of the afternoon. The DJ thought it was done for his next shift, nobody had called, but the boss invited him into the office when he finished his block of time.

“I’ve heard that you’ve been dismissive of listeners and hanging up on them.”

“But sir!”

“Yes, I know it’s frivolous, but you’ve annoyed some people with too much time on their hands. They’ve already emailed the station, and a lot of our major advertisers. This isn’t going to blow over.”

The DJ sighed. “Then get marketing to come up with something else.”

The next day he got an email about what to say in dead air for the local station plug. He laughed weakly and recorded a new ident.

“We welcome you back to 99.9 – The unofficial radio station of summer!” he played at the first gap. The switchboard lit up.

“Hi! 99.9 you’re on the air!”

“Have you been demoted? Why aren’t you the official station of summer anymore?”

The DJ shook his head. Again, he was thankful it was radio.