Utopia Murder

 William Shatner looked at the paper again. Apartment 11- Floor 2 – Suite 9. He thought that year he would scale back on his residence credit in favour of more travel credit. It wasn’t the lifestyle he was used to, but he had his health back and the major problems of the world were solved.

He walked the rest of the way to the apartment building. The mass transit had dropped him off fairly close to it, and it was a bright spring day. There was a slight drizzle of rain, but nothing unpleasant. Still, when he stepped into the lobby a fellow minding the desk tossed him a towel before asking him why he was there. It wasn’t as though Shatner wasn’t still famous, but people had a more balanced view of things. He wasn’t even sure the desk manager recognized him, he hardly knew the man in the mirror himself some days.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t look the same as his younger years, but there was a kind of weight lifted off that made him carry himself differently. His own attitude toward fame was a bit more reasonable too. He was a little quieter, and a little less presumptuous. He could fade into the background a lot easier now, partially based on how he acted, and a bit of how he did his hair. The Clark Kent affect was quite real, especially when everyone viewed you as a person first and a star as an incidental occupation.

The twinkle in the eyes of the desk manager was inviting further conversation. William noted his nametag and asked Derek if he had any questions or requests. Derek shrugged and said there would be time to chat later. Obviously he knew of Shatner’s new address and that kept things pleasantly casual. Derek offered Shatner a sandwich, which he almost refused, until he found out that it was included as part of the resident credit. Derek explained that communal areas had bulk food that cut down on unique effort for delivering and preparing when compared to the individual dwellings.

It wasn’t that Shatner wouldn’t have food otherwise, but he had resigned himself to eating at a nearby community food hub till he was settled enough to get his eating plans readjusted. He thought that there was a not so subtle nod to being a regular citizen than trying to extend his Pre-Event lifestyle.

It had taken a little while to wean himself off the high Hollywood life, but moving out here was a major step forward. The local councils had been trying to detox quite a few starlets and big names and had recently made it more difficult for them to get acting jobs till they stepped out into normal civilian life.

The place he had been staying at would be changed into a destination rental area. Not with his trappings or fame attached to it, but simply a bigger area for private events and holidays.

There was a contest about Trading Places with someone that Shatner had agreed to as it meant a continuing acting gig. He wasn’t terribly aware of the details, as surprise was part of the deal. He knew the camera crew would be setting up his apartment ahead of time. He tried getting Derek to drop a few hints, but the desk manager tapped his tie and it showed a hidden camera.

“It’s not on yet, but it will be later.” Derek warned. “Oh I don’t mind,” said Shatner. “if you need my reaction now, by all means turn it on”.

Derek picked up the desk phone and dialed Shatner’s new room. He asked a few things, very few of which made sense hearing only half the conversation. “They’re ready for you if you want to go up. You’ll need this keycard for the elevator. It keeps the floors locked out unless you have a reason to be on them.”

Shatner smiled and headed up toward the elevator. The ride seemed to take a bit longer than he imagined. He stepped out onto his floor and looked down the hallway. The room number signs were quite subtle, Roman numerals stuck quickly to the doors, meant to be taken down once the occupant had gotten used to knowing which door was his. They were stuck randomly on each door in a way that seemed confusing.

He wandered down the hallway till he found suite 9. The door looked damaged which confused Shatner. He hadn’t heard of a crime in a long time, but maybe it was just an accident from people moving in some basic furnishings. He thought about phoning Derek when he got in, just to make sure there would be someone there to repair it. Then he realized he didn’t get a key for the door, only the elevator.

He tried the elevator key anyway, and the door opened.

Blood was everywhere. Shatner wondered it if was some kind of weird prank, as something felt off, but that thought got lost when he saw the body. He rushed over, checking the woman for signs of life, but he was too panicked to get a good read on things. Shatner abandoned the effort and ran to the phone to call someone. He tried the emergency number, it rang, but it took a long time for someone to answer. “There’s a body” Shatner said. “Hang on we’re not ready yet” said the voice. “What??” said Shatner. “We’re not ready yet.” said the voice again insistently.

Shatner slammed the phone down, maybe he misdialed. He tried again. He phoned downstairs on the third try when the same, now annoyed voiced answered the emergency line.

“Oh” said Derek and hung up.

“What’s going on here?” said Shatner. The body in the corner of the room seemed to move slightly.

Shatner ran over to her. “It’s a set” she whispered. Shatner wasn’t sure if she was delirious or trying to give him a hint in her last moments of life.

After a few more frantic minutes Derek appeared at the door. He seemed to be fidgeting with his tie. The one with the camera.

“I don’t know what’s going on here.” said Shatner, incidentally, directly into Derek’s recording equipment.

Derek went over to the woman and did a quick check. “She’s dead, and you ...” Derek trailed off.

Shatner panicked. “She *was* alive, I tried phoning the emergency number, and they said they weren’t ready”

Derek broke character and laughed. He dialed the ‘emergency number’ and talked calmly. The woman moved.

Derek smiled at Shatner. “I guess you weren’t supposed to be on set till you settled in. I guess I gave you the wrong card.” The woman got up. “We were just filming the murder scene and you walked in. We thought it was another last minute script change.”

“So it’s not real?” said Shatner, needing confirmation.

Derek smiled again. “It’s your Trading Places – you’re the murder suspect.”